Don’t Worry, The Monster Whopper Is A New Sandwhich At Burger King
Reported By: trademark Published: November 23, 2009
Via: Facebook, photo on a friend’s profile from the Submission Page
After some serious testing our researchers have determined that the monster whopper is delicious.
-The Paper Boy
Tags: burger king, creepy, sex scandal, whopper
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By Pyrofallout, November 23, 2009 @ 06:31
I think what’s even funnier is under the picture of the victim it says “shafted” LOL!
By Troy, November 23, 2009 @ 08:05
lol…I love how under the photos it says “accused” and “shafted.”
By Haywood, November 23, 2009 @ 10:51
A sand-what now???
By passerby, November 23, 2009 @ 14:51
So good to know that sensitive, compassionate journalism is alive and well. I’d have hated to see what a sensationalist newspaper would have made of this story.
By MWS, November 23, 2009 @ 15:28
“Don’t Worry, The Monster Whopper Is A New Sandwhich At Burger King”
Bad spelling aside: That doesn’t make the mental image any better!
By Clyde, November 23, 2009 @ 19:38
Does it have secret sauce?
By Gone2thedogs, November 23, 2009 @ 21:45
The Lucille Ejected headline above adds to the fun.
By Bhazor, December 20, 2009 @ 16:18
The news if written by Chris Morris.
By Bhazor, December 20, 2009 @ 16:20
Also the full story
Kiweweesi Bum Sex Scandal Deepens
Pastor Kiweweesi’s bum shafting scandal has taken a dangerously amazing twist! Five other boys have come up and claim the pastor also assaulted them sexually and terrorised their behinds.
Pastor Isaac Kyobe Kiweweesi is the senior pastor of Kansanga Miracle Centre which he started in 1992 from humble beginnings. David Arinaitwe, a member of the church since 2002, on Monday opened Pandora’s Box and accused Kiweweesi of rocking from the rear. Arinaitwe said the pastor sodomised him and convinced him to keep it a secret.
He said the man of God, who is married, is a raging homosexual and sadomasochist like the legendary Max Mosley of Formula One. Kiweweesi, who brands himself as a righteous man of God, has been shamed and his name lies in complete tatters after Arinaitwe opened up a criminal case at Kabalagala police Station.
In the file, Arinaitwe says Kiwewesi is nothing but a SERIAL BUM SHAFTER who snatches young boys and sodomises them. The pastor was also accused of being a LIAR as well as a SEXUAL PERVERT who enjoys chilling Nazi-style sado-masochistic sex orgies with boys. Cops at Kabalagala Police Station are busy investigating the allegations registered under reference number xxxxxxxx.
But as Kiweweesi is still reeling from the horrific tale of ARINAITWE, five other boys came up last night and accused the same man of bum-shafting them. We have confirmed that at least three have approached the police and have opened up files alleging he sodomised them. Four of them who accuse Kiweweesi of the most heinous sex crime allege that he sodomised them in turn for several years but they were always scared of coming out in the open.
The alleged victims of Kiweweesi’s daggling whopper have been identified as Kaddu, Kabanda, Kasibante, Wanyama and one Mulingo. We have decided not to reveal their full names until they have finalized recording their statements at police. One of the victims revealed to us how he got angered by the pastor’s crazy appetite for bums and fought him before he left the church.“He tried to rape me and I was tired of him bonking me in the anus so I boxed him on the face and he nursed a swollen face for over a week. He pounced on me with his whopper in one hand and tried to shaft me but I overpowered him. I fought him,” the boy who declined to be identified because of the sensitivity of the matter told us last night.
In his ordeal to Red Pepper, another victim called Kaddu whom the pastor loved so much and over shafted, got complications that led to an operation in which one of his kidneys had to be removed.
Sources close to the pastor say the boy was bonked so seriously in the bum, he contracted an infection which affected his digestive and urinary tract.“He shafted him senselessly that the poor boy paid with his kidney, he (Kiweweesi) keeps this one (Kaddu) close to him because if he came out publicly that would be the end of the career as a preacher,” our source said.
Kiweweesi married to gorgeous Shasha in a mega wedding at Namboole Stadium. Over 50,000 guests were invited to attend the celebrity nuptials.
PASTORS SPEAK OUT Seasoned pastors in the country were outraged last night at the scandalous revelations that one of their own loved the evil!
http://ealib-news.blogspot.com/2008/09/kiweweesi-bum-sex-scandal-deepens.html
By Cynicdog, January 16, 2010 @ 13:42
Obviously this article was written by a homophobic non-native english speaker.